


Heathen Chemistry

by sunset_oasis



Series: Love of the Serpents [15]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 04:43:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11478846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunset_oasis/pseuds/sunset_oasis
Summary: "Merlin, soulmates aren't actually real, you do know that, right? Don't tell me you actually believe in some pre-destined one true love."When Blaise put it like that, for a moment, Theo almost agreed with him. It did sound rather childish and fairytale like, something that was unrealistic, something parents lied to their children about, like Santa Claus or whatever. And as usual, they were all too stupid to see the truth and Blaise was the only one smart enough.The moment passed, as Padma Patil sat herself up, pushing herself up from Daphne lap, and asked, "If you don't believe it, why the need to cover the tattoo up? Are you trying to convinceyourselfor everyone else?"





	Heathen Chemistry

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter  
> title from Oasis's album

 

The intricate, colorful tattoo magically appeared on his right wrist at 9-year-old. It was beautiful, Theo thought, as his focus got lost in the complicated, gorgeous design of the tattoo. The lines entwined together but it didn't seem messy at all, more like a puzzle, a detailed maze.

It made sense that the tattoo was some complicated rather than a simple shape, he supposed. They'd grown up learning how each witch and wizard had their own, unique tattoo – with the same design as their soulmate's, but with complementary colors. If the designs were simple, they would probably run out of shapes to use.

(Of course, that was what they, the pureblood kids, were taught. No adults had ever mentioned what if someone's soulmate was a muggle, or if muggles would be able to have soulmates at all.)

Pansy turned 9 a few months later than he had, and she was so relieved about not being soulmates with him that made him almost offended.

"Well, I can't be soulmates with someone who isn't interested in The Weird Sisters, can I?" she said, as if it were the most reasonable thing in the world. "But don't worry, we're still best friends."

He rolled his eyes and then grinned.

 

* * *

 

They were shocked to learn that muggles actually have the soulmate tattoos when they learned about it at eleven. "They just couldn't see them," Tracey Davis explained to them as Pansy dragged Theo and Draco to their girls chat by the fireplace in the Slytherin common room during their first year. "But the tattoo's there."

"How do you know so much? You're not a mudblood, are you?" Draco asked skeptically. "Mudbloods don't get into Slytherin."

Tracey gave him a sharp glare and stormed away. Draco stared at her back, baffled and shocked at the same time. " _Is_  she a mudblood?"

Daphne frowned. "No. She's halfblood. Also, she doesn't like people using that word, Draco."

"Why?" Pansy asked, clueless. "What else are we supposed to call them?" They'd grown up knowing no other synonyms for the word mudblood. But now Theo came to think of it, and the way that contempt the pureblood families he knew said the word, it should've been obvious that of course there was a politer way.

He wondered why it hadn't occurred to him until now.

"Made another girl cry again, Malfoy?" a new voice drawled, and they all turned their heads to see the newcomer.

"Zabini," Draco greeted haughtily. "How was I supposed to know she was this sensitive? And Pansy's right – what's wrong with the word mudblood anyway?"

Theo wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying as he studied Blaise Zabini up close. Of course, they'd all met at the welcoming feast and shared a few classes together by now, but Zabini had always been a little mysterious. It was the first time Theo could observe Zabini this close, and somehow he felt something –  _unusual_  inside him, some feeling he couldn't really pinpoint.

"Semantics," Zabini said, sounding a little cryptic in Theo's ears, "which is sometimes important for being politically correct."

A bunch of 11-year-olds stared at him, some in bemusement and some in annoyance. To be honest, Theo was feeling a little bit of both himself, but he was also undeniably intrigued. Zabini had some kind of elegant, upper class poshness, and also adultness in him. Theo had heard that he was also a pureblood, but he did really seem to be a bit different from all the other pureblood kids Theo had grown up with. Perhaps it was the Italian heritage, he thought.

 

* * *

 

It was a weird exchange, all things considered. Not much changed after that. Draco shrugged it off after hearing the insulting meaning behind the word, and said that well they  _were_  inferior, because they'd had muggle parents. Pansy seemed to share his thoughts, but she was more careful to avoid using it in front of Tracey. Theo knew his best friend might be ignorant at times, but occasionally she could also be quite thoughtful.

And Theo somehow found himself prodding Zabini about this topic again a few days later. Maybe he wanted to understand a little bit more about this idea that seemed to challenge everything his father taught him, maybe he just wanted to get to know the mysterious Blaise Zabini a little better. He wasn't really sure.

Zabini's dark eyes shone with amusement, making Theo slightly uncomfortable. It was like Pansy's teasing, but not quite the same, because Zabini seemed to enjoy masking his real meanings with seemingly harmless words. Draco might be the type to insult people directly, not knowing or not caring that he was using slurs and tried to impress others with his family name. But Blaise Zabini – his seemed to be able to use words that separately weren't insulting by themselves, and some even quite sophisticated and polite at first glance, but somehow still managed to convey his air of superiority just by his tone, his slyly hinted meanings behind his words, his cool, dark, judging eyes that occasionally sparkled with amusement.

Somehow, without needing to remind everyone things like 'my father would hear about this', Theo still found Zabini fundamentally more dangerous in a more subtle way.

It – it unnerved him.

It  _fascinated_  him.

 

* * *

 

He stole a glance at Zabini's right wrist impulsively as they talked. It was smooth and dark, without a single trace of tattoo. Theo darted his eyes towards left wrist and felt some unexplainable disappointment soared through him as he set eyes on the expensive looking leather watch that covered up the place where the soulmate tattoo were supposed to be.

He suppressed his disappointment and pretended that he didn't notice anything.

 

* * *

 

They became friends sometimes in their first two years at Hogwarts. Or, at least Theo liked to think they were. They were not exactly  _close_ , no, not like Theo and Pansy, or even Theo or Draco, but they'd chat sometimes. Chatting with Blaise was often interesting and sometimes unsettling. He seemed to know a lot of things, weird pieces of knowledge here and there that Theo had never heard of before. Sure, chatting with his usual circle of childhood friends was nice and fun and all that, but generally nothing too surprising or things he hadn't previously known would come up. They had grown up together, after all.

Logically, Theo knew it made sense. Having a different childhood with them was probably why Blaise knew different things, and perhaps just as Theo was sometimes secretly in awe with Blaise's odd pieces of random knowledge, the vice versa might also hold true as well. But, in all honesty, he doubted it. Blaise always looked so unfazed, so  _unsurprised_  at everything, like he'd seen it before or known it was coming.

(No, Theo wasn't disappointed.  _Really._ )

(Liar.)

 

* * *

 

Second and third year passed in some sort of a blur, with all the petrifications and the talk of Hogwarts shutting down, then the news of Sirius Black's escape and the dementors going on. And of course there was adjusting to the new courses they'd had to take.

Then suddenly in the fourth year, everyone who'd seen previously disinterested in dating or whatever suddenly began talking about the Yule Ball, and the subject of soulmates was popular again. Theo still wasn't particularly interested in dating, nor was he that enthusiastic about the Yule Ball, but he  _was_  rather curious about one thing –

"Can I see your soulmate tattoo?"

 

* * *

 

Everyone in their group stopped their previous conversation and turned to look at them eagerly, and Theo immediately regretted not asking this in private.

"Yeah," Pansy chimed in. "Let us have a look. You're always wearing that watch."

"Or is your tattoo too ugly that you don't want to reveal it?" Draco snickered a bit.

Blaise eyed them with slight disdain, and his tone almost scoffing as he said, "Merlin, soulmates aren't actually  _real_ , you do know that, right?"

"Why not?" Daphne demanded immediately. She'd realized that her soulmate was Padma Patil from Ravenclaw a year ago, and the two of them had been together since.

Blaise drawled mockingly, sardonic as usual, "Don't tell me you actually  _believe_  in some pre-destined one true love."

When Blaise put it like that, for a moment, Theo almost agreed with him. It did sound rather childish and fairytale like, something that was unrealistic, something parents lied to their children about, like Santa Claus or whatever. And as usual, they were all too stupid to see the truth and Blaise was the only one smart enough.

The moment passed, as Padma Patil sat herself up, pushing herself up from Daphne lap, and asked, "If you don't believe it, why the need to cover the tattoo up? Are you trying to convince  _yourself_  or everyone else?"

(While the situation at hand was intense, Theo was momentarily distracted by a small voice inside him thinking " _this is what happens when you let Ravenclaws hang out with you._ ")

It was the first time Theo ever saw Blaise – the ever so  _eloquent_ , so  _confident_ Blaise Zabini who always used complicated words and rhetorics and sarcasm – speechless.

 

* * *

 

Blaise recovered quickly, probably quick enough that no one else would notice, but Theo could've sworn that at that instant, Blaise looked like Padma's words just cut his soul open for everyone to see.

And then Blaise composed himself, shrugging in his usual, elegant way, "So that I wouldn't need to deal with people annoying me questions about it."

And all Theo could think of was – "oh yeah, so I'm  _annoying_  now, am I?"

 

* * *

 

Theo avoided Blaise for the next few weeks.

He tried to pretend that he wasn't bothered by the fact that Blaise didn't even  _try_  to speak to him at all.

(He failed miserably.)

 

* * *

 

Theo ended up going to the Yule Ball with Padma's friend from Ravenclaw, Lisa Turpin. After a few dances, they ran into Daphne fetching some juice alone. "Where's Padma?" Lisa asked her curiously.

Daphne gave them a mysterious smile. "Scheming, and planning to talk some sense into an idiot." Her eyes lingered on Theo for a while, and Theo arched an eyebrow back at her.

"What?"

"Come and listen – mind if I steal your date for a moment, Lisa?"

"Um, fine," Lisa shrugged, as she went on dancing with Anthony Goldstein and Daphne pulled Theo out of the Great Hall and towards the Quidditch pitch.

 

* * *

 

"Come here," Daphne whispered, ushering Theo into hiding behind some bushes. "And be quiet."

Theo gave her a confused frown, and she shook her head silently. He gave up.

A few minutes later, two people appeared.

"Now, care to tell me why you've brought me to such an elusive place?" an almost too familiar voice drawled, and Theo felt his heart ache a bit. They hadn't spoken in a few weeks, and hearing it suddenly made him feel a wave of emotions.

Theo tried to suppress the emotions as he listened on.

"You're only being cruel to you both by doing this, do you realize?" Padma's voice came through. Theo furrowed his eyebrows.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Blaise replied smoothly.

"Oh yes you do," Padma said drily. "You just don't want to admit it."

"And, pray tell, what exactly is  _it_?" Blaise asked, his voice equally dry, and lacing with a bit of his usual amusement. But somehow, Theo could feel it was a bit  _off_ , despite that he didn't really understand how he got the feeling.

"Since you really want to make me spell it out –  _fine_ ," Padma retorted, "even disregarding the fact that it seemed unfair that only  _you_ know that you both had the same soulmate tattoo and  _he_  doesn't, and you'd kept this from him for years, don't you think you should at least had the courtesy to tell him, instead of avoiding him, after he  _asked_?"

"Your imagination is shockingly wild," Blaise commented languidly, just as Theo froze.  _What the hell was Padma talking about?_  Theo thought, feeling that deep down inside, he already knew the answer.

"Not as much as your denial," she shot back sweetly. "Look, I've seen how you look at Theo, and frankly, it was the same way my older cousin's soulmate looked at her when the knowledge was only onesided –"

"And you think one single example gives you the right to jump to conclusion? How very  _Ravenclaw_ of you, Patil," Blaise mocked, but he sounded  _slightly_  tense and uneasy, albeit concealing it well.

Daphne gripped on Theo's arm tightly.

Padma smiled back sharply, "Well, establish theory first and then carefully verify its truthfulness, that's the spirit, isn't it? Mind taking the watch off?"

"Whatever you might think, I'm not obliged to provide evidence to help you and your wildly inaccurate theory," Blaise sneered.

"If my theory is wrong, shouldn't it mean you have nothing to be afraid of?" Padma folded her arms across her chest.

"Reverse psychology is children's games," Blaise remarked. "Don't sink so low, Padma."

"Perhaps," she acknowledged, "doesn't mean it isn't effective though."

Theo felt himself pushing through the bushes before he could stop himself, ignoreing Daphne hissing " _don't_ " beside him, and both Padma and Blaise turned around.

Blaise stared at Theo, long and hard, and turned towards Padma, and accused, "Set me up, didn't you?"

There was a flash of anger in his eyes that Theo rarely saw on Blaise. Then Blaise's expression turned blank as he said, in a cold tone, "Fine." He slowly took the watch off, revealing the dark skin underneath.

Theo stared at the lack of tattoo of Blaise's wrist for a moment, stunned, before hearing Blaise uttered a spell and with a wave of wand, a tattoo began revealing itself.

And he found himself looking at the most familiar design of tattoo since he'd been nine. Beautiful, complicated, like a detailed maze.

His breath caught.

And then Blaise's sneer pulled him back to reality. "Satisfied?" and before any of them could utter a word, he turned on his heels and started to leave.

 

* * *

 

Theo's hand reached out instinctually to grab hold of Blaise's arm, before he even registered what he was doing. Blaise paused, and slowly turned around to look at Theo, and his dark eyes softened just a bit.

"How long have you known?" Theo asked, his voice a forced calm.

For a moment, he thought that Blaise wasn't going to answer. And then he heard Blaise's sigh, "Since I saw you at the welcoming feast in our first year."

"And you never bothered to  _say_  something?"

Blaise looked like he wanted to sneer, or to make a derisive snort, or whatever, but in the end, he closed his eyes, opened them again, and shrugged. Looking just a little helpless.

Theo felt his own voice cracking as he asked, "Is it because you don't like me?"

Emotions flickered across Blaise's face. "No. I just think that all this soulmate stuff – about being  _destined_ , about  _fate_  – is nonsense."

"Indeterminist," Padma commented,

"Stop trying to be philosophical, Patil," Blaise gave her an annoyed glare. "By the way, can you two leave?"

"Nope," Daphne said cheerfully, "this is better than Pansy's romance novels."

"Everything's better than those, I'm sure," Blaise said flatly. He easily disentangled himself from Theo's grip, his eyes darkening. "Fine. Then  _I'll_ leave."

Theo hesitated. A part of him wanted to stop Blaise from leaving when their conversation wasn't done yet, another part asked himself why he should continue to humiliate himself by clinging onto someone who obviously didn't want him. Daphne noticed, and sighed, relenting, "Fine. We'll go."

 

* * *

 

Neither of them spoke for a while.

Blaise ran a hand through his hair, looking a bit frustrated, and surprised Theo by saying, "You've intrigued me since first year, you know?"

The words felt surreal in Theo's ears, and Theo thought that there must be something wrong, because it was the opposite that was true, wasn't it? It was  _Theo_  who'd always been intrigued, been fascinated by Blaise.

"What?!"

"Is that so hard to believe?" Blaise gave him a small smile, and Theo hated himself for the way he was still helplessly attracted. "You're interesting. Intelligent and thoughtful –"

"Just to double check," Theo cut across him weakly, "you sure you're not talking about yourself?"

"Sneaky too, inserting compliments subtly like this –"

"Zabini!" Theo snapped.

Blaise's smile faded. He continued, in a quieter tone, "It's true. You  _are_."

"But why didn't you just tell me that we – we're –"

"Because I think that all our society believing in something like  _destined to be together_  takes away the free choice from everyone," Blaise wasn't looking at Theo. Instead, he stared into the empty Quidditch pitch. "I mean, it's stupid, isn't it? Not having a choice."

… Theo had never thought of it that way. But of  _course_  Blaise had, it was almost unsurprising.  _He would, wouldn't he?_

"If we're going to be friends, or maybe even something more one day, I don't want it to be because that you've got no other choice," Blaise shrugged a bit. "I'd prefer it to be because this is what you _choose_. Personally, I think I've got enough wonderful qualities to not need to rely on  _fate_ , don't you agree?"

Theo quirked a small smile, "No one has ever accused you of lacking confidence, huh?"

"Well, that would be blatant lies," Blaise said, his tone carefully neutral as he gauged Theo's reaction.

Finally, Theo said, "I've … never really thought about this that much. It just seems like some kind of fact that everyone knows, like it was part of life, nothing to question or suspect. But – you have a point, I guess."

"I always do," Blaise turned away from the pitch to face Theo. He had his typical amused smile on, but his eyes were softer than Theo had ever seen. "Don't I?"

Theo paused, before confessing, "I've always been intrigued by you too. You're – fascinating.  _Special_. I – like you. Because you're  _you_. I didn't even know we were soulmates – though I might have  _wished_ , at some point – but even if you weren't, that doesn't change the fact that you're –  _special_. If you'd choose me despite not believing in soulmates –"

"I do. Choose you, I mean. Not the believing in soulmates part –"

"— then I think you could believe me when I said I choose you, because you're  _you_ , right?"

His heart fluttered as Blaise's smile subtly shifted from amusement to warmth.

"Yeah."

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](https://ff-sunset-oasis.tumblr.com)


End file.
